Category Archives: Compulsion

My OCD Story, Part 1: Hand Washing and Worry

This is the first in a series of posts about my obsessive-compulsive disorder. It’ll be part biography, part documentary about the disease, and part self-help manual. If you struggle with OCD, I’ve learned some tricks and habits that may help.

Starting this is really difficult for me, but I feel like this is the block that’s preventing my life from moving forward. My OCD story is stuck in the machinery of my brain, and I feel like I’ll never be able to write again unless I tell it.

That’s the thing about obsessive-compulsive disorder. It loves the dark. It hates when you reveal its secrets, or talk about it like it’s no big deal. It taught me, at a very young age, to hide, to fear, and to lie.

My Beautiful, Anxious, Shitty Childhood

I grew up in an idyllic middle-class household in Northern Alabama. Two parents, a brother 2.5 years older than me, and all the toys and video games I could handle. We had a huge backyard festooned with fire flies and honeysuckle, and we pretty much always had a pug and a cat. My mom made us Kool-Aid and Jello, and sometimes she’d fry baloney with a slit down its radius to make little Pac-Men. ... continue reading.

Can You Be Addicted to Sugar?

I was going to title this “My Struggle With Sugar,” but then I remembered that “Mein Kampf” means “My Struggle” and… well, I didn’t want to sound like a diabetic Hitler.

I realized something yesterday while reading a particularly inspiring post by Kris Gunnars over at Authority Nutrition: I might not be in control of my piss poor eating habits. I don’t want to overstate this, but I’ve been making myself sick from eating sweets since I was old enough to be left alone with my Halloween pillow case.

Oh baby...

Hell yes I used a pillow case, am I supposed to use a little plastic pumpkin like a chump?

My parents kept a somewhat tight leash on me when I was growing up, but things changed when I hit college. It turned out that no one could stop me from drinking 3 Cokes a day (and stacking the empties like a fratboy with something to prove), or from going to Waffle House at 3 AM for hashbrowns and a slice of pie. I gained the Freshman 50, and in under 6 months. ... continue reading.